You did what!

The Scary Bank Lady, Yesterday

. I see this woman every morning. She’s supposed to be there to reassure customers, to entice them in to hear about Natwest’s new accounts and deals. To provide an understanding ear for your financial woes. So why does she look like you’ve just told her you’ve been cheating on her for 5 years with her sister, and that you’ve forged her signature in order to re-mortgage your marital home so you can pay off your gambling debts?


Sheffield Uprising.

November 4, 2009

So I’m back on the Radio!

Friday morning 7am, Sheffield Uprising on Sheffield Live! 93.2FM

Me and Simon have bagged Friday mornings from here on in – surely the the best of all the weekdays for a  breakfast show.

And I can stagger bleary eyed out of the studio and onto a bus to work by 9am.

If you want to contact the show, search for the Sheffield Uprising group on facebook, follow @sheffieldup on twitter, or text our newly bought but frankly antiquated Nokia 3310 on 07817 006 271.

As well as 93.2FM, you can stream, or download and save the show from here for 40 days after broadcast

Part 1 – 7am-8am

Part 2 – 8am-9am

It’s been five days since I learned that bona-fide fascist Andrew Brons will be representing me (or more acurately, 1/6th of me) in the European Parliament from next month.

Even considering he’s a dyed in the wool, holocaust denyin’, Asian Copper insultin’,  former member of the NF, (and the before that, the National Socialist Movement),  I’ve been astonished by the speed at which I’ve hurtled through the seven stages of grief towards a state of relaxation and acceptance.

The Seven Stages of grief

1) Shock

This lasted from the moment I heard the results being read out at Leeds Town Hall, to the moment I fell asleep on Sunday night (approximately 20 minutes later)

2) Denial and 3) Bargaining

Listen! – The UKIP are launching a legal challenge because their party was on the bottom and therfore folded over on some voting slips in Yorkshire and The Humber! – Hooray! The whole election is going to have to be canceled!

So what if we end up with a second UKIP MEP instead of Andrew Brons, sure they’re incredibly right wing, have an inherent distrust of foreigners,  are in favour of a flat rate of tax, and only seem to dislike the EU because it’s not quite capitalist enough for them. I’d swap Andrew Brons for one of them any day.

4) Guilt

Why did I vote Green? Why? So I agree with far more of their manifesto than any other party’s,  and I like their leader.  Sure I’ll concede that every time I’ve seen a Green politician on TV or heard one on the radio they seem to come across exactly as I’d hope an elected representative in a modern European Parliament should come across. And they don’t want to privatise everything.  Plus, the European Parliament is arguably the best place for the Greens to push their agenda, as it’s the level at which most of the policies they are interested are decided. But why didn’t I vote Labour?  If me and 5000 other people had they’d have got their second seat.  So what if they blew the arms and legs of a couple of thousand innocent Iraqi children, and seem hell bent on privatising every last square inch of this land, they were the best shot for keeping the BNP out.

5) Anger

Where did I put those eggs?

6) Depression

Where did I put that rope?

7) Acceptance and Hope

Do you know what? It’s only five years and the horrid little shitcunt will be out on his arse. And in the mean time, we can sit back and enjoy an extremely bright light being shone into the BNP’s squalid little corner.

Plus, if nothing else, I’ve been reminded of the masses of good music that came out in the late 70’s against the NF. Like this mix from John Eden’s Uncarved blog.

Give me Al Campbell singing

“Hit them with the bassline
Smash up them waistline
Hit them with the riddim
Stop them ism and schism”

Over Joey Smith’s Victory Song any day of the week.